Deeper Intimacy: 15-Minute Marriage Makeover

For week 2 of our one month 15-Minute Marriage Makeover challenge my husband and I focused on the intimacy in our lives.

Intimacy is not simply sharing a fiery time between the sheets, but it is the one component of your relationship that sets it apart from all others in your life.  Of course we are close to friends and family, but it is your husband, wife, or long term partner, that you can be completely relaxed, open and comfortable with.  Intimacy and sex are inextricably linked, but you cannot focus on improving your sex life alone, and hope to restore the intimacy with your partner.

I know I take for granted that my husband and I will always have an intimate relationship.  My love grows for him everyday, we are connected forever through our marriage, and he is the most handsome man on the planet – of course we will have an intimate relationship.  I always believed that this was an innate part of our dynamic and one that didn’t require investment.  But I can see easily how life, time constraints, and exhaustion can start a leak in your intimacy reserve tank.

My Favorite Task this Week: Make Your Bedroom a Sanctuary

Dustin’s Riechmann’s book the 15-Minute Marriage Makeover provides some great inspiration. One of the best parts of going away on vacation is the the relaxation a hotel room immediately provides.  It’s free of clutter, clean, devoid of distraction, and decorated to promote calm and soothing feelings.  Our bedroom on the other hand, is the dumping zone for everything.  Baby toys, piles of books in various stages on being read, my cross trainer, and a giant TV.  Its also for some reason the place I care less about how it looks.  I prioritize decorating the living room, or guest room in a pleasing fashion.  For who?  Other people.  Yet I leave the dregs of the furniture and the decor for our bedroom. That doesn’t seem right.

Hotel rooms are known to promote intimacy between couples because they are a sanctuary of serenity.  So we may not be able to add a jacuzzi bathtub, install a balcony or place a beach outside our window, but this doesn’t mean we can’t make our bedroom into a sanctuary.  Prioritize our comfort and pleasure, not just others who come to stay.

So we used our 15 minutes this week to remove all clutter, did away with distraction and went on a treasure hunt for sanctuary decor.  We started with putting away the baby toys into the nursery, and the books beside our bed except the two we are actually reading.  The cross trainer and TV were moved into the study.  A search through the house helped us identify a few candles, pictures, and a plant which spoke of peaceful hotel room vibes.  We have created a space now which is clean, minimal and inviting.

Stay tuned for Next Week: Finances! 

See the last two posts in this 15-Minute Marriage Makeover series:

Main photo by bedzine.